i haven't posted since november? strange.
well, life has officially gone down the shitter. i haven't weighed this much in YEARS. literally, years. i honestly think i'm in the 130's. i can't even believe i typed that. i really and truely am completely disgusted with myself. i can't even look in the mirror. all my clothes are tight and i feel like a fucking pig. a stupid, stupid pig.
and you know what? i'm done. i'm done with the 'binges' and the telling myself " oh, you can just eat healthy, you know? you can't just eat when you're hungry and it'll be fine." it's time for new rules. it's time for order and weightloss and control. (well, technically they're old rules) i obviously don't have enough control to eat when i'm 'hungry' so i just won't listen to my body's pleas and demands for food.
800 calories a day or less. period. that's how it is going to be and i just have to suck it up and gain some control back. i'm going to start posting daily updates on my current weight, my meal plan for the day, thoughts. etc. i'm done with feeling like a fatass. i'm done with feeling like a bloated whale in all my clothes.
meal plan for tomorrow:
breakfast : fiber oatmeal (2oo calories)
lunch: fiber bar, light and fit (200 calories)
dinner: venti skinny vanilla lattee (160 calories)
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