exactly where i knew i would be. atleast i had the guts to weigh myself this morning. my plan is to weigh myself every morning, so when i feel like bingeing i can think about how i have to answer to mr. scale and ms. measuring tape . i haven't eaten yet to day and it's 3pm.
'the plan' is to basically get to GW4 by may 27th (lose 20 lbs in one month). i'm honestly not sure about how possible that is. i mean, 20 lbs in one month is rather extensive, but i've done it before. at the very least, i know i can get to 115. i have to. for the sake of everyone else who will be seeing me in a bathing suit, i have to. loser town says i'll be 121.5 on may 27th, but what does a website know? nothing. the numbers have to get lower or i'm just going to cut the fat right off of myself.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
getting back on track
i haven't posted since november? strange.
well, life has officially gone down the shitter. i haven't weighed this much in YEARS. literally, years. i honestly think i'm in the 130's. i can't even believe i typed that. i really and truely am completely disgusted with myself. i can't even look in the mirror. all my clothes are tight and i feel like a fucking pig. a stupid, stupid pig.
and you know what? i'm done. i'm done with the 'binges' and the telling myself " oh, you can just eat healthy, you know? you can't just eat when you're hungry and it'll be fine." it's time for new rules. it's time for order and weightloss and control. (well, technically they're old rules) i obviously don't have enough control to eat when i'm 'hungry' so i just won't listen to my body's pleas and demands for food.
800 calories a day or less. period. that's how it is going to be and i just have to suck it up and gain some control back. i'm going to start posting daily updates on my current weight, my meal plan for the day, thoughts. etc. i'm done with feeling like a fatass. i'm done with feeling like a bloated whale in all my clothes.
meal plan for tomorrow:
breakfast : fiber oatmeal (2oo calories)
lunch: fiber bar, light and fit (200 calories)
dinner: venti skinny vanilla lattee (160 calories)
well, life has officially gone down the shitter. i haven't weighed this much in YEARS. literally, years. i honestly think i'm in the 130's. i can't even believe i typed that. i really and truely am completely disgusted with myself. i can't even look in the mirror. all my clothes are tight and i feel like a fucking pig. a stupid, stupid pig.
and you know what? i'm done. i'm done with the 'binges' and the telling myself " oh, you can just eat healthy, you know? you can't just eat when you're hungry and it'll be fine." it's time for new rules. it's time for order and weightloss and control. (well, technically they're old rules) i obviously don't have enough control to eat when i'm 'hungry' so i just won't listen to my body's pleas and demands for food.
800 calories a day or less. period. that's how it is going to be and i just have to suck it up and gain some control back. i'm going to start posting daily updates on my current weight, my meal plan for the day, thoughts. etc. i'm done with feeling like a fatass. i'm done with feeling like a bloated whale in all my clothes.
meal plan for tomorrow:
breakfast : fiber oatmeal (2oo calories)
lunch: fiber bar, light and fit (200 calories)
dinner: venti skinny vanilla lattee (160 calories)
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